So now I find myself back here at Gustavus. Things are so weird... so different. I'll try to talk to people about it, and they just look at me funny and ask, persistently, "how so?" and I can't really explain.
I miss Ireland a lot. I knew I would, but not quite this much. It's magnified by this strange feeling of being back here for my last semester, not feeling I know anyone anymore, expected to be busy all the time, and a lot of the time I just end up feeling lonely. I've never had that problem here before. There was almost always someone -- one of my good friends -- to talk to. But then again, most of them were upperclassmen, and now I found myself kind of... isolated, I guess. It's not a pleasant feeling.
I don't feel welcome here. And that makes me angry. Especially angry at the Registrar, those WONDERFUL people who handle my classes and decide whether or not I get to graduate. The ones responsible. The people who didn't even tell me that I was 3/4 of a credit short of graduating. I found that out on my own. I'm really close to just writing them a really angry email. The butts.
Anyway. Then of course there's dealing with professors... the uber-intelligent souls who can't even remember that I was even gone! "Wait... so, you weren't here last semester? Well, where were you? Are you a senior?" Idiots. Really. Your department is SO small, you can't even remember one student out of the ten seniors graduating as art majors this semester? Good lord.
Now things would be so much better if I could actually give a definitive answer when people (usually my smug peers) ask me, "so what are your plans after you graduate?"
One of these days I'm going to have a breakdown, I swear. I'm going crazy.
