Pending Decision to use Bad Grammar

Have decided that I am too sentimental.
Also, laugh waaay too loudly and too often overly-caffeinated.
Need more sleep. Less sugar.
Should wear glasses more often.
Could use more sun.
And definitely, definitely ready to be done with this studying crap.
Definitely.

Ode to an Apple Tree

It's true I spend too much time lamenting, but it's sad to see you go.

Your blossoms are all freshness and joy. They are the assurance of pleasure and of hope. They bring to mind all that the future holds and the lovely renew of promise each year.

But as the wind blows your petals away, each one caught to the ground like so many pale stars in the green grass, I am reminded of the journey ahead of me. That hope often fades; resilience to life's great changes is the key to self-preservation. The sun continues to shine and the rain falls to erase your very existence; it will be alright. But it won't be the same. Over anything, the ability to pause, to capture, to press tightly to my chest this tiny moment in time, is what I want; also what I will never have. So instead I compromise, to sit beneath your branches, soak it all into my skin with a kind of mad obsession.

You'll be gone soon and it may be a long time before I see you again.

Corner Coffee

Coffee Shop Open

They charge $4- for a small blended (Fair Trade) coffee, but you really can't beat the atmosphere, (sometimes) conducive to productive studying. Here is something I'll miss. Lordie, I've really got to stop missing the things I'll miss before they're actually gone.
But people tend to ask me how I stand going to school in such a small town. And I could very well tell them that small, homey coffee shops are a very good reason. Who can beat your own table, chair and patch of sunlight?

Lost brain. Missed badly. If found, please contact.

I honestly don't know what's wrong with me.

Finishing up the semester shouldn't be this hard. But today I felt very near a break down-- it just kind of hit me out of no where. When I'm here in the apartment I have absolutely no motivation, and end up doing everything at the very last minute. And then, it all accumulates until I'm about ready to scream. So as I scrambled to finish a paper today and realized with terror that some important paperwork was supposed to be sent in three days ago... and finally I made it to a professor's office to hand in an assignment... I have a bad feeling that he could tell I was very close to tears.
This happens every year! I really should be used to it by now, I should be able to handle it. But instead, I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off, completely disorganized and bewildered. My head is in the clouds, my mind is far off somewhere else. I can't concentrate. I can't finish anything. I'm sloooowly losing my grip on reality. And I've no idea just how I'm going to make it through this summer.

And it doesn't help that I keep reading the handbooks they send me from the Burren, and getting lost wishing I was anywhere but here.

Five-year-olds

Okay, seriously.
One of the assistant profs who happens to teach my Arts Management class keeps starting off with the line, "when I was your age..." and the dude can't be any more than 28. Honestly. It's almost like he's ASKING his students to make fun of his age. I keep thinking he's going to continue with the "... I had to walk to school up hill both ways in a blinding snow storm" or something like that.
Maybe I've gotten horribly uppity in the last three years, but it's starting to feel a bit belittling. I know this professor has a heck of a lot more experience in the art world that I do, but the phrase within its context gives me the impression that he thinks he's addressing five-year-olds. We are adults, after all.
Yep, that does sound really uppity. I guess I've grown quite a large ego. But I mean, seriously guys! You want college students to act like adults? Then treat us like adults, please! I'm really getting tired of the lazy, irresponsible, partying and drink-until-you-pass-out stereotype! I actually do study and work for good grades! So there! (as I cross my arms and pout like a kindergartener.)

Initially...

So here I go!
Officially accepted to the Burren College of Art in the Republic of Ireland.
The initial excitement has faded into a sort of "ohmygosh I'm-actually-going-to-Europe-and-
now-I-need-to-figure-all-of-this-international-stuff-out! Aaah!" (though the excitement is still there, just accompanied by skin-crawling nervousness.)
As long as I know where I'm going and what I'm doing and can sort-of figure out the currency exchange deal... I think I can handle it. Finances are a problem, as always. But I knew that when I initially decided to apply. ---and hey, finances are ALWAYS a problem.
I don't really want to ramble on about this. And anyway, there will be a lot more rambling in posts when I actually get there.
And besides that, there's so much to do between then and now that it'll be a while before the really scary-nervousness catches up to me.

Oh, Ireland.