Too much missing for one day

I miss the leaves.
I miss the green.
I miss the smell of summer. And how my friends and I took advantage of it.
I miss the carefree laughter of summer, the walks with a coffee cup in hand. I miss the open air! I miss the deep breaths and sprawling on the grass looking up at that awesome sky.
I miss not worrying about school and it's armfuls of stress (stress always comes in bundles... when one nasty shows up, you can bet there's more to follow)
Lord! I miss the flowers and the even the annoying summer insects!
I miss my backyard and my trees. I miss painting on my patio.

I've done a lot of missing today.

Sun walk

with a pen she has used since she found the right words and sitting beneath her own falling leaves, comfortable besides the air, she wrote,
David
I don't see colors anymore. It's plain to me that my eyes are defused with silver. Everything is soft. But lord, I am forced to wear my hideous lenses in class, since the professors are all irritated with my constant squinting. I can't help but squint; it keeps me concentrating on the knowledge I can't see worth digesting. My last pair of lenses I forgot hidden in a book, and the librarian squashed them with an armful of encyclopedias. She scolded me; I told her encyclopedias have always had it out for me.
I see in silver, but I dream in blue, and sometimes in orange. So you see, much of the color has gone out of my life. Even before such a drastic change in my vision, I always saw you in shades of silver.
she stopped. The wind almost blew the page from beneath her fingers, but she pulled it away and in doing so, crinkled the edges with her grasp. she sighed; he always hated wrinkled papers.
The wind thrust away a cascade of crinkled paper leaves. White and silver, they clung to her hair.

Resolute

I WILL NOT:
seek a reason to be upset with my friends
pick a fight
be depressed
cave to pressure
force myself on people
obsess
immerse myself in ridiculous daydreams
focus on the bad
agree with everyone
break down
panic
make known my embarrassment
dwell on the past
hit rock bottom

I WILL:
question
cling to common sense
listen
form my own opinions
remain patient and optimistic
work harder
speak with kindness
show my delight in my friends' joy
keep issues to myself
pick up my art again, full force
enjoy
breathe
live