Sunlight through a summer filter

Radiant

CATCH.

Värme

Solamente amore

Se tu fossi nella mia anima un giorno

Sapresti cosa sono in me

Che m'innamorai
Da quell'istante insieme a te
E cio che provo e
Solamente amore

Backwards, Inside-Out and Upside-Down

Everyone's always so concerned with 'turning the world upside-down.'
That's the last thing the world needs. The world needs to be turned right side-up again.

Drive

Take a drive.
Just go.
Where? Anywhere. Just go.
C'mon, you know you want to.
The road is calling your name. Get away. Just go.
What road? Which turn? Follow the clouds, the blue sky, the horizon, the moon. Light and wind and everything you see. Follow the birds. Just go.
Change is inevitable; you can't escape it. Go with the flow; travel with time. Enjoy every moment. Dance. Sing. Dream. Drive. Just go.
Ignore directions. Live a little, be spontaneous. Don't worry so much about 'not supposed to.' Trip, fall, get up again and keep on. Just go.
Learn from your mistakes, don't dwell. Don't always look over your shoulder. Just keep moving, just go.
And when you're tired, turn around, all the way. Look back and remember the drive. You didn't stop, you left a new road in your wake.
This is life.
Just go.

Revelations with coffee. Oh yes.

So, I just had a revelation about myself. Yes. At eleven thirty on a Friday night after swigging a mug of really... weird ... coffee, I've come upon an inspiring realization. You know in cartoons when the lightbulb appears above the cartoon character's head (right now I'm thinking specifically of Goofy for some reason) and the light turns on, zing! They've had an enlightening idea! and then Goofy reaches up and pulls the little cord and turns off the lightbulb and does whatever the revelation has just told him to.
Wow. That was a tangent. What was I saying?
Yes.
I've had a revelation about myself. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with my life. You know I'm getting REALLY tired of people constantly contradicting what I say about myself. I say something like, "I get really stupid. I confuse myself altogether too much." and then the person will say something like, "You're not stupid. You're a very intelligent person. It just has something to do with your creativity level." As if this person knows ALL about me and can tell Me all about Myself. Okay. I guess you have been living in my brain for eighteen years and can suddenly tell me more about how my mind and body works than even I can. I guess you're right. NO. See, when I say things like that, it's because I am revealing something about myself that I've lived and grown with. It's part of my personality, take it or leave it. And if you can't take it, then screw you (and I mean that with the highest and utmost respect, of course.) Once, my mother and I were talking about a situation my sister once found herself in... I'm not sure what it was. My memory isn't so great. But I remember my reply was something like, "I would just never be comfortable with that." and my Mom's answer I will never forget. She simply said, "You know, Hannah, I think that shows that you really know yourself." She told me that I was clear-minded enough to just know. That reply in itself made me realize how incredibly intelligent and wonderfully admirable my mother is. I've always known she is intelligent and admirable, but what she said to me really hit it home, and I won't ever forget that. Who knows you better than... yourself?
Okay. That was an even LONGER tangent. You see, I'm explaining things to myself. Coffee is a good thing.
My point of all this is that I've come to an interteresting conclusion about a characteristic flaw about myself. It is that I don't drive myself hard enough. I don't go the extra mile. Okay, so I've always known that about myself. It's hard for me to reach out of my comfort zone. (Right now I'm picturing this big pink bubble, and pulling myself out of it, one arm at a time, then my head, now a leg, and I'm yankin myself out of that stupid pink bubble that I've been building around myself for most of my life.) It would be so easy for me to be creative, to inspire people with the talent God has given me. But I'm too afraid of going over board. I'm afraid that if I do go the extra mile, but it turns out to be the extra mile and a half... or even the extra two miles, people will basically think I'm stupid and pathetic.--She goes way overboard with everything. She can't be sensible and stop, she always has to go further. It's like she's trying to out do everyone.-- I've realized tonight, that THAT is what's wrong with me. I could do so much more with the "talent on loan from God" but I'm too afraid, too timid, too worried and obsessed with what people might think of me to be different. That's why I admire those people who (at least on the outside) never give a second thought to what other people think. --It doesn't matter. My life is my life, and only I can make something truly wonderful out of it. --It's like the particular duty God put before us when he gave us the gift of a certain talent. My problem is I need too much pushing. I have to be pushed or coaxed into everything. People eventually get tired of pushing and they stop, and then I'm in a rut, and I can't go forward and I can't go backward. I'm that bandwagon person people always talk about. The person who holds on to the wagon with a vice-like grip and refuses to fall off. Maybe... my grip is slacking a bit. I hope it is. The problem is which bandwagon I WANT to fall off, and which one I DON'T. Well, I kind of know which one I would like to fall off... but which one do I want to stay on? That's a dilemma. That's what my life is all about. Deciding which bandwagon I need to secure with a vice-like grip, and which one I should just tumble off of. If God has given me a special ability, perhaps he will also give me, or show me, what and where that ability goes in the whole scheme of... LIFE.
What a scary thought. Because really, for me it depend so much on the people in my surroundings. Maybe God is telling me I shouldn't be on a bandwagon at all. Maybe I'm supposed to make my own. Maybe not even a bandwagon for lots of people... maybe just a bicycle, built for only me... a bicycle that only I pedal. I don't know... I just keep guessing.
But maybe... the solution lies within a mug of really strong sugary coffee at eleven thirty on a Friday night. Maybe.

What are you ON?

These people are such bloody hypocrites.

Var är hon nu?

Where did that person go? That girl who was so confidently strong in her morals, in her beliefs and in her faith, unsuppressed and excited for the future. That girl I knew last summer... where did she go? I can't say. But if you see her, let me know.

The Blue

All I could see was the blue.
I don't know why I thought it was blue, because it could just as easily have been green or gold.
I just remember thinking what a beautiful color it was.
Shadows, too.
Shadows flying (floating, racing, dancing) over my eyes.
They must have been closed. My eyes, I mean. The shadows were dapples from somewhere above and they were surrounded by light, flying faster. I suppose they couldn't have been shadows without that purest light.
Maybe that's the point; maybe there are two kinds of sight: a sense, just like smelling or hearing or tasting or touching. But then there is the sight so much like touching, like being overwhelmed by an emotion, so much so that it brings color and pictures-- maybe memories-- to your eyes and to your mind. And this sight brings the softest, happiest warmth.
Does your soul feel?
Is that a stupid question? (My friend said once, that teachers say there are no stupid questions, only stupid answers... but they're only trying to make you feel better when you ask one.)
Here.
Within.
Without.
Everywhere...
I still see the blue.

Nothin' but blue skies from now on!

Big Blue Eyes.





Blue skies smilin' at me
Nothin' but blue skies do I see
Bluebirds singin' a song
Nothin' but bluebirds all day long

Never saw the sun shinin' so bright
Never saw things goin' so right
Noticing the days hurrying by
When you're in love, my how they fly

Blue days, all of them gone
Nothin' but blue skies from now on
(Blue skies smilin' at me
Nothin' but blue skies do I see)

Never saw the sun shinin' so bright
Never saw things goin' so right
Noticing the days hurrying by
When you're in love, my how they fly

Blue days, all of them gone
Nothin' but blue skies from now on
Nothin' but blue skies from now on!

... laundry?

“I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry, because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?”

Tuesday laundry

So... waiting for my laundry, I decided to write some stuff.
I expected a thunderstorm all afternoon... nothing. This is so disappointing. I can literally smell the rain coming--when is it coming? A good thunderstorm would be the best thing! (Just... um, not during classes tomorrow.) K... going to check laundry.

April begins...

April 1st
April Fool's Day
National Atheists' Day

Phew! Glad I got that off my chest

I think I can safely say... that no matter what moronic things I've done lately...
I have never licked a spark plug.

"He had a mouth like a hippolatamus!"

The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything

Narrator: "Joining Larry are Pa Grape and Mr. Lunt, who together make up
the infamous gang of scalliwags, the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!"
Larry, Pa, Mr. Lunt: "We are the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just
stay home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just
tell you ..."
Larry: "We don't do anything!"
Pa: "Well, I've never been to Greenland and I've never been to Denver, and
I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul, and I've never been
to Moscow and I've never been to Tampa, and I've never been to Boston in
the fall."
All: "'Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay home
and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you..."
Mr. Lunt: "We don't do anything. And I never hoist the mainstay and I
never swab the poop deck, and I never veer to starboard 'cuz I never
sail at all, and I've never walked the gang plank and I've never owned a
parrot, and I've never been to Boston in the fall."
All: "'Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay at home
and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you... We don't do anything!"
Larry: "Well, I've never plucked a rooster and I'm not too good at
ping-pong, and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall,
and I've never kissed a chipmunk and I've never gotten head lice, and
I've never been to Boston in the fall!"
Pa: "Huh? What are you talking about? What's a rooster and mashed
potatoes have to do with being a pirate??"
Mr. Lunt: "Hey, that's right! We're supposed to sing about pirate-y
things!"
Larry: "Oh ..."
Pa: "And who ever kissed a chipmunk? That's just nonsense! Why even
bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?"
Mr. Lunt: "I think you look like Cap'n Crunch!"
Pa: "Huh? No I don't!"
Mr. Lunt: "Do too."
Pa: "Do not!"
Mr. Lunt: "You're making me hungry."
Pa: "That's it, you're walkin' the plank!"
Mr. Lunt: "Says who?"
Pa: "Says the captain, that's who!"
Mr. Lunt: "Oh, yeah? Aye aye, Cap'n Crunch!"
Larry: "And I've never licked a spark plug and I've never sniffed a
stink bug, and I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball, and
I've never bathed in yogurt and I don't look good in leggings ..."
Pa: "You just don't get it!"
All: "And we've never been to Boston in the fall!"

The Banana Phone Song

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana phone
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana phone
I've got this feeling
so appealing
for us to get together and sing - SING!
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana phone
Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding
Donana phone
It grows in bunches
I've got my hunches
Its the best
beats the rest
cellular modular
interactivodular
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana phone
Ping pong ping pong ping pong ping
Ponana phone
Its no baloney
It aint a phony
My cellular
Bananular phone
Don't need quarters
don't need dimes
to call a friend of mine
dont need computer or tv
to have a real good time
I'll call for pizza
I'll call my cat
I'll call the whitehouse, have a chat
I'll place a call around the world
Operator get me beijing jing jing jing
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
Banana phone
Ying yang ying yang ying yang ying
Yanana phone
It's a real live mama and papa phone
a brother and sister and a dogaphone
a grandpa phone and a grandma phone too - oh yeah
my cellular bananular phone
Banana phone
ring... ring... ring...
Its a phone with appeal (a peel)
Banana phone
ring... ring... ring...
Now you can have your phone and eat it too
Banana phone
ring... ring... ring...
This song drives me .... bananas
Banana phone
ring... ring... ring...
Bo ba do ba do do doob

MUAH HA HA!

BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH!

I've been saying this to people all day.
Don't ask me why.
I like bananas.

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

SNOW DAY!