A Moody, Wordful Page that Doesn't Say Much

Ceci walked slowly towards the little front door of the pastor's home. It was a small red door and it looked warm and welcoming-- as it was supposed to, Ceci knew. And yet, to her this small red door was a reminder that she must plaster a smile to her tired face and envelop her weariness in a pleasant disposition. For James' sake.
The fist of wild flowers she'd gathered drooped at her side. She'd no idea how much farther her endurance would take her; she worried that she mightn't outlast James' recovery.
She stopped at the door, heaved a cleansing sigh and crossed the threshold.

Ceci slowly climbed the stairs to his room carrying a tall water jug of the flowers. She thought she heard muffled voices from a distance and wondered for a moment if her fatigue was getting the better of her senses.
She stopped abruptly at the open door.

Corran Lennox sat in a wooden chair beside Mr. Carter's bed. He leaned towards James, as though they were engrossed in a secret conversation.

Ceci was surprised. Naturally. She'd seen neither hide nor hair of Mr. Lennox since the fire. Not that he was obligated in any way--not for all the world; saving James' life had been more than enough. Much more.

The floorboards creaked as Ceci stepped out of the doorway.
Corran immediately looked up at the sound, and Ceci had to flush and announce her presence.
"Excuse me," she said quietly, offering the water jug as explanation of her appearance.
For some odd, unexplainable reason, she could not quite meet Corran's eye.
As she crossed the room to place the flowers on the nightstand, James suddenly reached out and grasped Ceci's wrist. Startled, she turned to him.
"Thank you," James whispered to her.
Finally Ceci's gaze fell on Corran, who looked stone-cold and expressionless. And pale.
She nodded and smiled in response to James and made to leave.

At the bottom of the stairs she paused. The whispered conversation had not resumed and for a disquieting moment, Ceci suspected Corran might follow her.
She slipped out the back door and out into the kitchen garden.

Something strange had happened there in that room.
She had known for quite some time--as much time as she had for personal reflection--that the fire had changed many things. Things related to Corran. Er-- Mr. Lennox.
Why did she have trouble meeting his gaze? And why did he look so frightfully cold? There was a dark, painful feeling in Ceci's chest.
She sat down on an overturned pot beneath a scrubby apple tree. She leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees. Then in back-aching weary and dejection, her head fell forward and her long hair shook with a sob that shuddered through her body. She could keep her countenance no longer today, and she collapsed into convulsing tears, hugging her arms to herself.

When she'd finished, she slowly sat up; it was painful. Her hair clung to her wet face. She brushed it away and wiped at her cheeks.

There was Corran standing by the back doorway; he was leaning against the door frame, watching her. But when she looked up at him, he turned away, as though he could pretend she couldn't see him and he hadn't actually seen her cry.

What did she expect? That he might rush to her and take her up in his arms to comfort her?
She wanted at least a kind word; she wanted him to assure her of her own strength.
But he only stood there at the door.
Slowly, he turned his head and dared to look at her again.
Ceci stood. And what she said next she did not mean as harsh. "Is there something you wanted?" It sounded horribly cold. But wasn't that just how Corran was now?

He looked unnerved at her words. Minutes passed before his response came. "No," he finally answered.
Ceci heaved a sigh. "I'm sorry, Mr. Lennox. I-- I didn't mean for you to see me in such a state. And I am sorry if I was rude."
"Not at all," Corran replied.
She walked towards him and the door. "Thank you for coming to visit James. He doesn't have many visitors, but I'm sure it lifts his spirits to see you."
Thank you for saving his life, she thought, and thank you for living through it.
"I had heard his condition was much worse. I'm glad to see that he seems to be recovering well. No doubt, thanks to your care."
These last words were spoken with such gentleness that Ceci looked up quickly into his face.
There were no smiles. None.
No laughter, no easiness; Ceci's heart was so heavy she wondered how it could be suspended so weightlessly in her chest.

Corran reached the front door. He stopped, holding it open so that the wildly brilliant sunlight illuminated his hair in a fiery halo. Ceci wondered if he were waiting for her to say something. So she said, "Good bye, Mr. Lennox."
He seemed to start at her words. He gazed at her for a few long moments then heaved a giant sigh, turned and was gone.
Through the window, Ceci watched him retreat down the stony path, shoving his blue hat down on his head in a frustrated gesture.

The sunlight suddenly retreated behind a cloud; everything became gray and shadowy, sorry shades of once burnished fall colors.