Corrected

I really don't understand what it is with some people.
I have certain "friends" who have this strange ability to make me feel like I'm burdening them somehow by asking to spend time with them, or even just wanting to chat with them. What's with that?
Truthfully, that is why there are a lot of people with whom I don't keep in touch anymore. I hate the feeling that there is not a mutual "interest." I guess what it comes down to is that if one is not willing to put an equal effort into a friendship (just as it is with any relationship) then it really isn't worth it.

What is happening exactly? I realize people change, but there are some changes that I can't quite understand. When two people lose that mutual interest things begin to fall apart. Why does that happen?
I know I have changed. But I always hoped it was for the better; now I wonder if that is really true.

I was thinking today about how incredible it would be to move somewhere far away. I am not a world traveler (I'm hardly even a country traveler) and the idea scares me to death -- but in that way it would be so thrilling and terrifying and probably wonderful. To go and build your life in a foreign place amongst strangers -- build your life almost from scratch. What would that be like? I feel that if I could ever sum up the courage to do something so insane, I would learn so much. So many people have done it before -- most of my friends have. What would happen if I followed that lead?

I shudder. Here is my last month of college. I feel as though this semester were lasting ages -- both because I can't wait for it to finally be over, and because after this few weeks, hello there's reality and an adult life for which only I am responsible. Goodness gracious.

I'm not allowed to run away and join the circus, am I? How about be a hermit? Join a cloister? I am not ready for real life yet. It scares me to death, only I didn't want to admit it before.