Memorable quotes

Grace Polk: I'll see you later. I'm going to go... run with scissors.

God: Good is relative. Beauty's relative. Everything's relative. Except for me. I'm absolute.
Joan: I thought that was vodka.

Joan: Let's see a miracle.
God: How about that?
Joan: It's a tree.
God: Let's see you make one.

God: Stop underachieving. Stop squandering the potential I gave you. Have some pride.
Joan: What about humility?
God: Humility isn't actually humility unless there's something you're good enough at to be humble about.

Joan: What should we do first?
Grace: Ask your brother for the answers.
Joan: To be humble you have to be proud.
Adam: Wait, aren't those opposites?
Grace: Ah, ask him ask him.
Joan: No, no let's just break it down ok. Is there a chemical formula for twigs?
Adam: Uh
Adam: Cellulose is c6h12o6
Adam: Uh, I have an eidetic memory.
Joan: What's that?
Luke: Photographic.
Grace: He can barely remember his name.
Adam: Listen, I know a lot, I just can't put it all together.
Joan: Ok, what about a chemical equation for fire?
Grace: Wood doesn't actually burn.
Joan: That's insane.
Grace: What burns is the gas released when the wood gets hot. Therefore the reaction would have to be gasification, through oxidation reduction, then combustion.
Luke: It is so hot that you know that.
Adam: Dude, are you smart?
Grace: Just because I refute the whole formal-schooling-equals-knowledge crap doesn't mean I'm stupid.
Adam: Nice.
Joan: Ok, so what about gas?
Adam: Cha, like I know.
Grace: ...And Rainman back to underpants.

Helen: Number one... Andrea, work on your mother's voice before you try that out on me, and two: don't use a disease you can only get on a pirate ship.

Joan: You don't think she is right, do you?
Adam: Uh... I usually don't listen to what's going on unless I hear my name.

God: Oh Joan, it would have been so much easier if you just read the book. Now I'm gonna have to send you to the basement.
Joan: You mean like, Hell?
God: No, I mean, like, the basement. There's one in the school. Check it out.

Adam: I talk to angels.

Adam: Well, nice work Jane.
[He leaves, Helen looks at Joan]
Joan: He calls me Jane sometimes when he forgets that my name is Joan.

Joan: So what do you want me to fail at this time?
God: Now what makes you think you failed? You did exactly what I asked you to do - you observed.
Joan: Hmm! And what good did that do anybody? Ramsey's going to jail, Adam hates me even more...
God: Observation is a more powerful force than you could possibly reckon. The invisible, the overlooked, and the unobserved are the most in danger of reaching the end of the spectrum. They lose the last of their light. From there, anything can happen.
Joah: Okay. Fine, I observe Ramsey, his life is still ruined.
God: His life wasn't the only one at stake.
Joan: What do you mean?
God: There's Laura Eason, ninth grader. She plays the flute. She would have been one of the first to go,
[gunshot sound]
God: coming out of Orchestra at the wrong time. And Andrew Bayer - he would have tried to save his friend Lawrence DiStasi and lost his life... and Gavin Price and three other students in the cafeteria. And Mr. Harvey. And Ms. Schmidt in the library. And finally, Steve Ramsey himself. And for each of these faces Joan, there are twelve more whose lives would have come to an end today - lives altered forever by you. By the simple effect of being present, by entering the light, by joining the dance.